Nicotine Caper

It get’s unusually cold in Northern Colorado during the winter months. As a smoker, I really hated standing outside of my apartment door in January to smoke, so I’d smoke half a cigarette or so and put it out in the ash-tray so I could enjoy smoking the other half later. Occasionally, I’d forget about my half-smoked cigarette and light a new one, and thus have several half smoked cigarettes in my ash tray for my later enjoyment.

One morning, I discovered that my ashtray was being sorted through by someone who was very obviously in need of a cigarette. I thought nothing of it at first, but eventually it became habitual. I couldn’t leave a cigarette on my ashtray outside for more than an hour without it disappearing.

I tried to devise a way of discovering who it was, but realized that a good revenge would be so much sweeter. I ended up smoking half of a cigarette, emptying out some of the tobacco, finding some of my beloved dog’s fecal waste to replace it with, and packing some tobacco back into it so it wouldn’t look strange. As a finale, I also stuck the cigarette butt in my dog’s poop and twisted it around and smeared some on the cotton filter.

After I had about three of these to use as bait, I put them back into the ashtray and went to sleep. The next morning, they were gone. After that morning, I never had another incident of a missing half-smoked cigarette.

Eh? Dick move or funny?